I met Erika two years ago. Erika grew up in a provincial Mexican town called Leon. According to the region's conservative customs, women are expected to marry and serve their husbands. Practically all women there accept their fate; Erika is one notable exception. Rebelling against the constraints imposed on women, she risked social rejection by persuading her parents to let her study engineering in Mexico City. She hoped to influence people's lives and become a well-rounded individual.

At that time, there were only two women studying engineering at the university. Professors didn't expect a woman to become a good engineer and didn't dedicate much time to her, so she had to put in twice the effort to obtain the same grades as her male classmates. She graduated with honors and decided to join P&G, where I met her. Very soon, her strong business vision and leadership skills earned her a fast Brand Manager promotion. However, she felt that P&G was not giving her all the skills needed to help people, so she enrolled in a London MBA program.

When she returned to P&G, she was promoted to Director. She had been planning to start a non-profit organization to help illiterate women when her mother was struck with cancer. Without a moment's hesitation, she left her promising career to achieve her goal in life: helping others. She now spends half of each day taking care of her mom and the other half teaching illiterate women.

Erika has had a deep influence on me. What I most admire about her is her strong belief that we have the responsibility to help others become better persons. She lives according to this credo, which she has used as a guideline since she was very young. She has show me the importance of a attaining a balanced life and contributing to society while accumulating practical skills. Most recently, she has encouraged me to obtain an MBA, because it gave her the skills needed to complete her development and help others.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：

這篇文書是用來申請MBA的，并以行為榜樣作為命題。一般這種命題的文章都需要作者通過描述一個(gè)對自己有深刻影響的人，從而引申出從這個(gè)人身上獲得些什么？得到些什么感悟，等等。

Erika作為一個(gè)當(dāng)時(shí)非常獨(dú)特的女性，敢于與當(dāng)時(shí)的封建風(fēng)俗作斗爭，爭取屬于自己的權(quán)利。她不僅僅為了自己的權(quán)利而奮斗，更是為了幫助更多沒有受過教育的女性早日過上更好的生活而奮斗著。Erika以這個(gè)作為她的人生奮斗目標(biāo)，并一直堅(jiān)守這個(gè)準(zhǔn)則。最后，即使她在P&G有一份很好的工作并且前途無限，她還是為了能夠幫助更多的人放棄了這份工作。

最后，Erika的這種經(jīng)歷和堅(jiān)定的信仰，感動(dòng)并鼓舞了作者。由于Erika曾經(jīng)讀過MBA，并覺得MBA給予了她許多技能去幫助他人。因此鼓勵(lì)作者也去攻讀MBA。

文章讀起來滿流暢的，內(nèi)容也吸引人的。但是唯一讓人覺得牽強(qiáng)的就是Erika讀MBA使她得到了幫助他人所需的技能。但是具體是那些技能呢？作者并沒有作進(jìn)一步的解釋，因?yàn)镸BA并不像其他什么non-profit的專業(yè)，與幫助他人有那么緊密地聯(lián)系。所以作者需要做更多地解釋才能使這篇文章更加有說服力。最后作者說Erika也鼓勵(lì)她去讀MBA， 但是作者讀MBA的目的又是什么呢？難道說她也打算向Erika那樣從事非營利組織么？還是她有她自己的打算。因?yàn)樗龥]有做更多地解釋，讀得人也不清楚。所以要是作者想通過這一個(gè)例子來申請MBA的話，是需要進(jìn)一步豐富最后的解釋。

譯文：

行為榜樣：Erika

我認(rèn)識(shí)Erika是兩年前的事了。Erika在一個(gè)叫做利昂的墨西哥小鎮(zhèn)里長大。根據(jù)當(dāng)?shù)氐谋Ｊ仫L(fēng)俗習(xí)慣，女人的職責(zé)就是嫁人和服侍她們的丈夫。而實(shí)際上，大多數(shù)的女性都接受了她們的命運(yùn)；但Erika 是個(gè)典型的例外。為了抵抗那些強(qiáng)制在女性身上的約束，她冒著被社會(huì)抵制的危險(xiǎn)游說她的父母讓她去墨西哥城學(xué)習(xí)工程學(xué)。她希望去改變?nèi)藗兊纳罴俺蔀橐粋€(gè)全面的人。

在那時(shí)，僅有兩個(gè)女性在大學(xué)里學(xué)習(xí)工程學(xué)。教授們也對女性成為一個(gè)工程師不抱太大的希望，并沒有對她花太多的時(shí)間，因此她必須要付出兩倍的努力去獲得與其他男同學(xué)同樣高的分?jǐn)?shù)。最后她以非常優(yōu)秀的成績畢業(yè)了并加入了P&G，也就是我們認(rèn)識(shí)的地方。很快的，她的對商務(wù)的強(qiáng)烈先見之明和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)能力很快地為她爭得了品牌經(jīng)理的晉升。但是，她感到P&G并不能給到她去幫助他人的全部所需技能，因此她參加了倫敦MBA課程。

當(dāng)她回到 P&G，她被晉升為主管。就在她母親遭受到癌癥的影響時(shí)，她就一直計(jì)劃籌辦一個(gè)非營利組織去幫助那些沒有受過教育的女性。毫無猶豫的，她放棄了一個(gè)很有前途的職業(yè)去完成她人生的使命：幫組他人。她現(xiàn)在用半天時(shí)間用來照顧她的母親，而剩下的時(shí)間去教不識(shí)字的女性。

Erika對我的影響很深刻。 我敬佩她的是她堅(jiān)信我們都有責(zé)任去幫助他人過得更好。她依照著這個(gè)信條生活著，那個(gè)她年輕時(shí)就一直用來做為指引的。她向我展現(xiàn)出達(dá)到一個(gè)和諧人生的重要性。以及在積累實(shí)踐技能的時(shí)候也可以對社會(huì)做出貢獻(xiàn)。最近，她也鼓勵(lì)我去攻讀一個(gè)MBA的學(xué)位，因?yàn)樗屗晟屏怂陌l(fā)展和幫助他人的所需技能。