feminism

If you like storms that clear a path of change and arcs that bridge communication gaps, slide down my rainbow into the whirlwind of my life. In a sense, I'm taking the world by storm. I'm either blessed or cursed with an optimism born not of ignorance, but of idealism based on personal experience. Perhaps foolishly, perhaps not, I believe that enough people in this world care for humanity to lift us out of our downward spiral of poverty, depression, and despair. Caring is just the first step, though. Next, people have to work together to achieve the social reforms necessary for our survival. I have chosen to concentrate my whirlwind energy in the reform of feminism.

Why feminism? The path there was so clear and miraculous that I knew it had to be right:
A voice called her softly. She looked and saw a twisting road with obstacles at every turn. The path of silence she was on was so smooth and safe: no one would ridicule her, ostracize her, or hate her. Why should she switch to the difficult road of social battles and criticism? The voice called again and she knew she must take the twisting path, for herself, her sisters, her mothers, and her daughters to be. "But I'm scared!" she cried to the wind. "We all were at first, " a million voices whispered back, and this gave her the strength to take the first step on the winding road. And after the first step, it was easy.

Encouraged by a personal meeting with Gloria Steinem, I decided to start a young feminist club at [name] High School to address issues of gender equality. We organized a feminist assembly to raise conscious-ness about women's issues and to dispel the myths surrounding feminism. We also held a bake sale to benefit Planned Parenthood, and we participated in many Pro-Choice rallies and marches. I spent much of my free time volunteering for local social activism groups, such as the Marin Abused Women's Services and the San Francisco Chapter of the National Organization for Women.

Other social activities provide experiences in the political and judicial world. My sense of justice and desire for competition drew me to Mock Trial, where I am trained as an attorney and argue a difficult case in front of a real judge. This not only teaches me about the judicial system, but also about my own legal rights. I also enjoy Model United Nations, where we act as delegates from other countries in large conferences modeled after the United Nations. This shows me how the policies that affect this country and others are made.

These are only some of the social activities in which I immerse myself. In addition to these, I love writing. I especially enjoy creative writing, such as plays and poems, and I work as Features Editor on the school paper. I like poems and plays because they're a creative way to express my social views and the school paper lets me explain and illustrate important points to a large number of people. All these activities usually keep me busy. In fact, the only real obstacle to obtaining my high school diploma was my lack of time for academics, due to my involvement in all these exciting activities. I found myself staying up all night to finish homework because I had had a NOW meeting or a campaign phone-banking session during the afternoon and evening!

My various activities have taught me many things. Most importantly, I've learned that one must work to change the world, yet one must also have a sense of humor. Nothing can be taken too seriously, even oneself. Above all, we must always work to help others because that is the only way to truly help ourselves.

點評：

文章思路：

1. 對女權運動的信仰和熱愛

2. 心里活動

3. 將對這個事業的熱愛融入現實生活中

4. 通過社會活動自己的收獲和如何成長的

總的來說，整篇文章思路清晰，感染力很強，人物形象也躍然紙上。通過描述自己對女權主義運動的熱愛為申請的目的做了很好的鋪墊。另外，內心世界那部分的描述很精彩，給人留下深刻印象，為全文增色不少。不過，作者對內心活動進行描述那段的過渡不明顯，跳躍太快，讓人有突兀之感，如果能適當增加過渡句效果會更好。另外，文章因為對前面的描述太多，給人有頭重腳輕的感覺。

譯文：

女權主義

如果你想暴風雨掃除前進道路的變數，如果你想為交流的隔閡搭建橋梁，那就請從我的彩虹滑落到我閃電式的生活當中。從某個意義上講，我所做的是能得到全世界認同的。不是因為無知，而是基于個人經驗的理想主義，我被祝福或者被咒罵我天生樂觀的性格。或許我的信仰是愚蠢的，又或許不是，我相信這個世界上有眾多人是關心慈善事業的，他們將我們從貧困，沮喪和絕望的旋渦里拉出來。然而，關懷只是第一步，接下來，還需要人類團結起來為我們的生存作出必要的社會變革。我已經選擇在女權主義的改革過程中大展拳腳。

為什么我會選擇女權主義呢？因為前進的道路是那么的清晰，那么的不可思議，我一早就知道它一定是正確的。

耳邊有一把聲音輕輕地呼喚她，她看了看，發現有條彎曲小道在每個轉角處都有障礙物。而她正走著是一條寂靜的小路，平坦而安全：沒有人會嘲笑她，放逐她，或者憎惡她。但為什么她應該選擇那條充滿社會戰爭和指責的道路呢？那把聲音又一次呼喚她，為了她自己，為了她妹妹，為了她的母親和女兒，她知道她必須選擇這條彎曲小道。“但我很害怕！”她在風中哭訴。“我們是一起出發的。”百萬種聲音在背后響起，這給了她力量，讓她在彎曲的道路上邁出了第一步。跨出這艱難的第一步，以后的路就好走了。

與格勞瑞雅•斯泰納姆單獨見面時受到他的鼓勵，我決定在xxx中學成立一個年輕男女平等主義俱樂部，是為了解決性別平等問題的。我們組織一群男女平等主義者去喚起人們對女性問題的關注和驅散女權主義的迷霧。我們也舉行一次烘烤食品義賣活動目的是為家族計劃聯盟籌款，并且我們還參加了許多關于贊成有權選擇合法墮胎的集合和游行活動。我利用平時大部分的空閑時間自愿加入當地社會激進主義組織，諸如MAWS和國家婦女組織的舊金山分部。

其他的社會活動使我積累了政治和司法世界的經驗。正義感和對競賽的向往驅使我參加了模擬審訊，飾演一名律師并且在一位真正的法官的前面辯論一例棘手的案件。這不僅使我認識到司法系統，還有關于我自己的法定權利。我也喜歡MUN（聯合國模擬），我們在模擬聯合國的大型的會議上扮演著來自其他國家的代表。這些經歷向我展示了影響美國和其他國家的政策是怎樣制定的。

這只是一些我參加的社會活動。除此之外，我還喜歡寫作，特別是諸如戲劇和詩詞等的創造型寫作，同時我也是學校論文的編輯。我之所以喜愛戲劇和詩是因為它們這種創造性可以表達我的社會觀，而學校論文讓我向眾人解釋和說明重要的觀點。一切這樣的活動都讓我十分忙碌。事實上，我拿不到高中的畢業證書就是因為我在這些激動人心的活動當中太過投入而無暇顧及理論的學習。有時我會因為下午和晚上要參加一個NOW會議或活動電話銀行會議而必須整夜不眠趕功課！

我這些寶貴的活動經驗教會了我許多。最重要的是，我意識到一個人要改變世界必須有所作為，同時也需要具備一絲的幽默感。無須總鉆牛角尖，即便是對自己。最重要的是，我們必須對其他人有所貢獻，因為這是真正幫助自己的唯一方法。