Every day after school, I would take the bus to my grandfather’s medical office. There, my “papa” would allow me to fill syringes and sterilize instruments for him. In return, I had the chance to observe the compassion he showed toward his patients, as I gained exposure to medical practice at an early age. Today, having received a scientific education and gained experiences through clerkships and surgical rotations, I have a better understanding of my goals. By completing a residency that will train me to practice general surgery, I hope to build on my learning to date -- though what drives me most fervently is still the enthusiasm that began in my papa’s office.

Entering the University of California (Berkeley) as an undergraduate, I wanted to acquire broad exposure to every aspect of medicine. To do so, I engaged in the study of genetics and also taught chemistry. Additionally, I developed my talent for research, especially through a cancer study I undertook at UCLA. When I later had the chance to study at St. George’s University in Grenada, I welcomed the experience, excelling in my science courses there. In all, my eagerness allowed me to investigate many different possibilities for my future career.

Eventually, my exploration led me to shadow a general surgeon, Dr. Carla Harvey. I still remember how excited I was the first day, jumping out of bed at 4:30 a.m. and driving to the hospital. Putting on my scrubs and walking into the operating room, the instant gratification of many surgeries captivated me. I perceived how a surgeon can cure a patient with an extensive knowledge base and an operating room full of interests. Consequently, I became drawn to such intense power to treat patients, power the surgeon held in his own hands. Indeed, I remember the second day of surgery even better than the first: I awoke just as early to relive the entire experience again.

Although I felt confident I would pursue the career path Dr. Harvey had taken, I heeded the advice of many professionals with whom I spoke: “Wait until your own surgery rotation before deciding on the rest of your life.” Counting down the days, I finally jumped right into the deep end with my clerkship at Kern Medical Center -- I volunteered to take call the very first night. Not yet knowing the difference between a Kelly clamp and a needle driver, I nevertheless remained eager to learn. Finally holding a retractor for four hours just to get a glimpse of a bypass surgery, by the end I was full of questions. Ultimately, my enthusiasm was well rewarded just two weeks into the rotation, when the chief resident asked me to participate in his research study.

Upon reflection, it seems clear that becoming a surgeon will prove the hardest challenge of my life. It is one for which I have prepared throughout my education, however, and I feel well equipped to continue. The scarcity of women in the field of surgery also drives me forward. Still, I have no plans to dismiss any stereotypes or prove any points -- I am simply pursuing the field that most interests me. I have acknowledged the long hours and sleepless nights, the acquisition of new skills, and the gravity of life-saving decisions. In fact, I look forward to them.

點評：

這篇文章給我最大的印象就是短小精悍，可以說在有限的篇幅里把作者對于專業的任何和情感表現的淋漓盡致。結構相當的經典，標準的五大段，可以說是英文寫作的典范。

第一段，開頭。一個比較簡短的開頭，也就是說自己的一個興趣引入，他是如何對外科產生興趣的。

第二段，深入的引入。表述了在作者不斷的朝著自己的喜愛的方向努力學習的過程當中，對外科解除得越多，自己對自己的目標就更明確。

第三段，實例引入。以一個小例子為線索，一方面表明自己的專業興趣，一方面表明自己在這方面學習研究的動力。

第四段，小升華。通過一句忠告的引入，并且升華自己在專業興趣的高度，告訴讀者，我真的非常熱愛我的專業，并且我也有能力。

第五段，結尾。一個綜述性的結尾，對上面所有的四段做了一個總結，并點名自己的目標，自己就是要研究自己喜歡的領域。

總體的說，這篇文章非常的好，我很喜歡。首先，作者用了很少的篇幅，很少的文字，表達出了很多人要用超過于他兩倍的篇幅的文字的效果。語言的有效性，語言的效率非常的高。這其實就是我們很多申請者要注意的。并且有一個很明確的線索游走于整篇文章。整體性非常好，非常連貫。不像很多申請者那樣，東扯一塊，西扯一塊，左一拳頭，右一腳的，不知道你到底要說什么。可以說一篇文章，最好只有一個要點要表述，如果你有多個的話，駕馭不好的話就有可能造成目標不明確，要記住一山不容二虎啊。

雖然有那么多的優點，但是，有一點，我必須要明確的說出來。那就是，用詞的問題。我不是很欣賞他的用詞。因為他有一點點在炫耀自己華麗的辭藻。可以說一篇好的文章并不在于華麗的詞匯，而是邏輯思維的嚴謹性，以及說整體結構的連貫性，中心的明確。你要記住你所做的事情不是在寫一個散文詩，而是在寫給招生委員會看的，要讓他們知道你對你專業的認識和熱情。

譯文：

外科實習經歷

每天放學后，我都會搭乘公共汽車到我祖父的醫學辦公室。 在那里，我的 爺爺會讓我為他填充注射器并且為一些器具消毒。 作為回報，我有了機會觀察他向他的病人,就好像我很小的時候就解除到了很多醫學方面的只是一樣。 今天，通過高質量科學系統的教育和在外科方面的實習輪轉，我已經有我自己的目標了。 通過我完成了實習，我將會讓我自己嘗試著去接觸并在外科方面進行鍛煉。 我希望建立我的目標 -- 盡管讓我對此懷有極大熱情還是由于在我爺爺的辦公室的日子。

當以一個本科新生進入Berkeley的時候，在這里我想要知道關于醫學各個方面的情況。為了要這么做，我選擇了學習遺傳學并教授化學。另外地，我也加強了我的研究能力, 特別是通過我在加州大學洛杉磯分校學習癌癥相關知識的時候。當我稍后有了機會在格林納達的圣研究喬治的大學的時候,我很容易在那里取得了非常優異的成績在我的科學學科。我的熱情讓我有了很多機會去取觀察我未來的職業的可能性。

最后，我的探索領導我走進全外科的邊緣，我的探險領導了我遮蔽一位一般的外科醫生。 我仍然記得我第一天是如何興奮,在早上 4:30 從床上跳下來并開車去醫院。 穿上我的工作服而且走進手術室，我被在這里的手術深深的吸引住了。我認為對于一個外科醫生來說如何用自己的知識和在手術室里的熱情來治療他們的病人是很重要的。結果，我非常勤奮的去治療我的病人用我手中的力量。的確，我甚至記得手術的第二天比第一天好: 我又一次喚醒了我昨天的經歷。

雖然我覺得自信，我會追求哈維博士拿的事業路徑, 我注意到許多專業人士的忠告:“在你下決定之前，應該先了解不同的外科分支" 計算日子，我最終深深的愛上了到了我實習的Kern Medical Center-- 在我自愿的第一次給他們打電話的時候。在還沒有知道Kelly夾和針頭驅動器的區別的時候，我一直在學習。最終在拿著一個牽引器4個小時的時間里僅僅是為了看到血管繞道手術，并且在這個過程中我腦子里充滿了問題。最后，我學習瓦克的熱情在兩個星期之后得到了回報, 他們的住院總醫師高速我讓我加入到他的研究中去。

在這個基礎上，有一點是很清楚的那就是我想要成為一個外科醫生對我來說是非常大的挑戰。這就是我已經通過我接收過的教育準備的，并且我也覺得我已經準備好去繼續我的學習了。 在專門針對女性的外科手術方面研究的匱乏也是我學習的動力之一。到目前為止，我還沒有任何的計畫取證明一些點，那就是我僅僅就是在從事我所喜歡的領域。我已經從漫長的時間里和無數個深夜里得到了我想要的，新技術和我的生活目標。 事實上，我關注著這點。