I am most interested in a career in psychoneuroimmunology. Scientists who work in this area study the biological connection between the mind and immunological factors relating to health and healing. This is my ideal occupation because it includes my two criteria for a career: I would be doing something to benefit society and performing a job that is enjoyable, challenging and meaningful to me.

Throughout the ages, scholars have tried to find ways to alleviate human pain. Although multitudes of procedures have been tried, none have been completely successful. Drugs can relieve pain temporarily or ease the symptoms of a disease. Antibiotics can cure some illnesses but not every one and not instantaneously. Regardless of the outcome of disease and treatment, the patient may have to endure a great deal of pain. The mind, however, can be a powerful tool. If people could learn to rehabilitate themselves quicker with a positive attitude, we could, on the practical side of things, reduce hospital stays and increase productivity, and, in general, lead longer, happier, and healthier lives. I want to be able to help people ease this possibly unnecessary suffering.

This career promises the type of in-depth medical research combining a multidisciplinary approach that greatly appeals to me. If the neurological or genetic basis for why some people heal faster or more effectively than others could be discovered, then we could develop similar ways to treat others. People who recover faster and more fully from certain diseases than the average person could be studied using a variety of psychological, immunological, and neurological tests in an attempt to detect any unique characteristics they might possess.
Many people have hypotheses about different aspects of this subject, but much more investigation needs to be done before we know anything for certain. I want to be one of the individuals involved in basic research to advance our knowledge in this area. Despite the fact that research on these topics is in its infancy, I am very optimistic for its future impact on human health and well-being. As I look forward to becoming a pioneer in this area, I am prepared for what might be a long and sometimes frustrating search. Yet I also envision groundbreaking discoveries or on a more realistic scale, solving smaller pieces of a larger puzzle which may lead to a long-awaited breakthrough.

I know how difficult and also how rewarding research can be because both of my parents are researchers, and I have done research projects for my science courses. The most important thing, of course, is that humanity may benefit. Such a pursuit of knowledge would be incredibly satisfying because of its potential to help so many. To me, the call to a lifetime of this work is irresistible.

點評：

筆者從興趣和專業(yè)價值兩方面進行編排的，闡述自己希望能進行該方向的研究。不足之處是因為沒有提及個人的經(jīng)歷，所以整篇文章讓人感覺平乏無味，而且興趣也是泛泛而談，沒有實質(zhì)性的東西。另外，筆者的個人性格也沒有體現(xiàn)出來，令人無從得知他能為學(xué)校帶來什么價值。

其實錄取委員想知道的是實際的，與你有直接關(guān)系的，最能體現(xiàn)你自己的東西，何不從經(jīng)歷中提煉出精華，提煉出真正可以代表獨一無二的自己的東西，而是添加一些華而不實，無必要的枝節(jié)呢？

譯文：

我非常喜歡心理神經(jīng)免疫這個方向的職業(yè)。這個領(lǐng)域的科學(xué)家研究與思想和免疫因素有關(guān)的生物關(guān)聯(lián)。這是我希望所從事的職業(yè)，因為它涵蓋了我對心目中的職業(yè)的兩個標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：工作既對社會有益又是我所喜愛的，充滿挑戰(zhàn)的，意義重大的。

隨著年齡的老化，學(xué)者都在嘗試尋找可以減輕人類病痛的方式。雖然已經(jīng)作了各種嘗試，但至今還沒有完全成功的個案。藥物可以暫時減輕疼痛或減少疾病的癥狀。抗生素可以治療一些疾病但并不適用于所有人，而且也不是即時可以見效的。不管疾病和治療的結(jié)果如何，患者都必須承受極大的痛楚。然而，意志就成為了一個強大的工具。如果患者意識到有積極的態(tài)度就能更快康復(fù)的道理，在事物積極的一面，我們也能減少病患在醫(yī)院逗留的時間和提高生產(chǎn)力。而且，總的來說，就是使人類更加長壽，更加快樂，和更加健康。我希望有能力幫助減輕人類承受可能不必要的痛苦。

這個職業(yè)是深入的醫(yī)學(xué)研究和多學(xué)科方法的結(jié)合，深深吸引了我。如果能把為什么一些人能康復(fù)得更快或更有效的這種情況的神經(jīng)學(xué)或遺傳學(xué)的基礎(chǔ)發(fā)掘出來，我們就能開發(fā)出類似的治療其他人的方法。患某些疾病而又比多數(shù)人康復(fù)得更快和更完全的人可以作為研究對象，通過心理上的，免疫的和神經(jīng)的測試，嘗試探測出他們所擁有的獨特的性質(zhì)。

許多人從不同方面假定過這個課題，但在下結(jié)論之前我們要做很多的調(diào)查。我想成為這個基礎(chǔ)科學(xué)研究隊伍里的其中一員去豐富這個領(lǐng)域的知識。盡管這個課題的研究還處于起步階段，但我非常樂觀地相信它對人類將來健康幸福生活的影響將是深遠(yuǎn)的。我期望成為這個領(lǐng)域的先驅(qū)，我已經(jīng)做好準(zhǔn)備，即使是個漫長的會遭遇挫折的研究我也會積極對待。然而我也想象會有突破性的發(fā)現(xiàn)或在現(xiàn)實尺度上，解決較大難題的一點點小問題，這也會有期待已久的突破。

我知道研究的道路布滿荊棘，但同時它的意義也非常重大。因為我父母都是研究人員，我在上科學(xué)課時也做過幾個研究項目。當(dāng)然最重要的原因是，這能給人類帶來好處。可以幫助這么多的人令我覺得追求這方面的知識有種前所未有的滿足。對于我來說，這個終生工作的召喚是不可抵抗的。